Setting Boundaries Is Not Selfish, It's Crucial For Self-Care.

Setting boundaries is a crucial element in your journey of personal development which includes making sure that you also consider yourself a priority in this game called life. So many of us feel we are tasked with making sure everybody else has what they need to make their life easy, that we, as women put ourselves last on the list of priorities. This time of year especially we are all running on fumes. And by the time it's ready to take care of our needs, our self-care, there is no time left in our day. By learning to establish boundaries without seeming selfish, we are cultivating resilience in ourselves. Setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of self-care and maintaining healthy relationships. I will walk you through a few strategies to communicate and set boundaries effectively.

Learn to Frame It Positively:

Instead of saying what you don't want, express your boundaries in a positive light. It would be acceptable to focus on you need for your well-being instead of what you want to avoid. This can help others see that your boundaries as self-care rather than selfish. An example could be: " I need some alone time to recharge after work" instead of " I don't want to be bothered after work."

Use "I" Statements:

Frame your boundaries using "I" statements to make it about your needs and feelings. This will help reduce defensiveness and help others understand that you are expressing your own experience. An example could be: "I need some time to relax and recharge" instead of "You always invade my space."

Be Clear and Specific:

Be specific and clear when communicating your boundaries. Ambiguity can lead to misunderstandings, so be sure that you are providing details to ensure everyone is on the same page. An example could be: "I just need 30 minutes of uninterrupted time after I get home to decompress before we catch up."

Express Empathy:

When setting boundaries, acknowledge the needs and feelings of others. Express understanding for their perspective, but also emphasize the importance of taking care of your own needs. Example: ""I know I have a lot of going on right now, and I do appreciate your perspective. I also need to prioritize myself to be at my best."

Offer Alternatives:

If possible, provide alternatives that show you are willing to find a compromise. This will demonstrate that you value the relationship while still honoring your boundaries. Here's an example: "I can't stay out too late, but how about we plan something earlier in the day?"

Set Consistent Boundaries:

As they say, consistency is key. Consistent boundaries helps others understand your needs and expectations over time, reducing potential resistance. Example: "I've found that taking breaks during the day helps me stay focused. I'll be taking a 10-minute break at 3pm each day."

Educate About Self-Care:

Share the importance of self-care and how it positively impacts your mental and emotional wellness. Helping others set boundaries as a form of self-respect for them, can lead to a healthier relationship. Example: "Taking time for myself allows me to be more present and supportive when we spend time together."

Be Firm but Kind:

Yes, it is possible to be firm and kind at the same time. Some of us think that being firm is the only way to get others to understand what you need and expect, but there is a way to be assertive, while also being kind when setting boundaries. By firmly communicating your needs without being confrontational ensures that others know that you value the relationship. Example: "I've realized that I need to prioritize my well-being, and I hope you can understand and support that."

In conclusion, saying "yes" when we mean "no" means that we are not weighing our priorities. Check in with yourself before you say "yes" and ask yourself is this a top priority? Believe it or not the superwoman that we believe lives inside of us is not realistic. We can't do it all. We need to be realistic about what we can actually handle so we don't feel frustrated and burned out. Gradually moving into a place where you feel comfortable saying "no" is a huge victory when learning to set healthy boundaries. #justsayno #personalgrowth #burnout #selfcare #wellbeing #wellnesscoach #mindsetmatters #priorities #personaldevelopment